Welcome to Denmark - Now hand over your cash!

Apparently, the Danish government is not at all happy with the international attention it has garnered in the wake of law that would allow the authorities to seize assets from those applying for asylum in order to pay for their stay, and this in one of the richest nations on Earth. The law also extends the the time period after which family members can join loved ones from one to three years. 

The Danish coalition government which includes the far right Venstre party has defended these measures saying that Danish citizens seeking help from the State are subject to the same regulations, however, as the more astute of you will have noticed, no Danes have been bombed out of their homes in Odense or have been forced to flee murderous death squads in Aarhus with just what they can carry.

The EU Death Star moves to crush the rebellion in the outer provinces.

Admiral Scauble: Any attack made by SYRIZA rebels against the Eurozone would be a useless gesture, no matter what financial data they have obtained. This currency is now the ultimate power on the Continent! I suggest we use it!

Darth Vader: Don't be too proud of this fiscal terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a nation is insignificant next to the power of the Markets.

Austerity in action

Turkish PM bans Twitter

Turkish PM bans Twitter, a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

Just another Washington press conference. REPEAT AFTER ME: "The NSA isonly collecting metadata"

Just another Washington press conference. REPEAT AFTER ME: "The NSA is only collecting metadata", a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

I HEART AUSTERITY

I HEART AUSTERITY, a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

A Modest Proposal For The Crisis Of The Greeks

A Modest Proposal For The Crisis Of The Greeks, a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

A MODEST PROPOSAL For preventing the debts of poor people in the Kingdom of the Greeks from being a burden on the The German Peoples or their Creditors and for making them beneficial to the publick.

It is a melancholy object to those, who walk through the Capital of The Greeks, or travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads and cabbin-doors crowded with the families of those who have taken their own lives, followed by three, four, or six kith and kin, all in black, and imploring every passenger for justice.

These descendants of Pericles and Aristotle instead of being able to work for their honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time in stroling to beg sustenance for their helpless offspring who, as they grow up, either turn to Godless anarchism for want of work, or leave their dear native country, to work in the Factories in the lands of the North, or sell themselves to dens of inequity.

But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the Greeks: it is of a much greater extent, and shall take in the whole number of those of the race of the Germans who at a certain age, become prone with the passage of time to the corrupting effects of Nature's hand upon our weak flesh.

As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years, upon this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of our Economists, I have always found them grossly mistaken in their computation. It is true, a man who has taken his own life is: at most has not the value of above a few hundred euros, which the family of the Departed may not even receive, I propose to provide for them in such a manner, as, instead of being a charge upon their creditors, or the parish, or wanting food and raiment for the rest of their lives, they shall, on the contrary, contribute to the Reduction of the Nation's Debt, and partly to the cloathing of many thousands

I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.I have been assured by a very knowing Doctor of my acquaintance in London, that a healthy Greek well nursed, is, a most suitable nourishing and wholesome Donor of humane organs, whether heart, liver, kidney, or pancreas; and I make no doubt that it will equally be of service in a male or a female.

Supposing that one thousand families in the state of the Germans, would be constant customers for fresh organs, besides others who might have need of them on other occasions, particularly after misfortunes upon the King's road, I compute that Athens would take off annually about one thousand carcasses; and the rest of the kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper) the remaining two thousand.

But, as to my self, having been wearied out for many years with offering vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length utterly despairing of success, I fortunately fell upon this proposal, which, as it is wholly new, so it hath something solid and real, of no expence and little trouble, full in our own power, and whereby we can incur no danger in disobliging Europe. For this kind of commodity will not bear exportation, and flesh being of too tender a consistence, to admit a long continuance in ice, although perhaps I could name other countries, which would be glad to use up the whole nations supply of Internal Organs without a second thought.

After all, I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion, as to reject any offer, proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, cheap, easy, and effectual. But before something of that kind shall be advanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire the author or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points.

As things now stand, how Greeks will be able to find food and raiment for a an countless multitude of useless mouths of backs. And secondly, There being a round ten million of creatures in humane figure throughout this kingdom, whose whole subsistence put into a common stock, would leave them in debt billions of euros, adding those who are beggars by profession, to the bulk of farmers, publick servents and labourers, with their wives and children, who are beggars in effect;

I desire those politicians who dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold to attempt an answer, that they will first ask the families of these Damned Souls, whether they would not at this day think it a great happiness to have their Departed ones sold for their organs, in the manner I prescribe, and thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes, as The Greeks have since gone through, by the oppression of bankers, the impossibility of paying debts without money or trade, the want of common sustenance, with neither house nor cloaths to cover them from the inclemencies of the weather, and the most inevitable prospect of intailing the like, or greater miseries, upon their breed for ever.

Apologies in advance to fans of Jonathan Swift's original.
www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm

SURVEILLANCE IS GREAT BRITAIN

SURVEILLANCE IS GREAT BRITAIN, a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

"The phone, internet and email records of UK citizens not suspected of any wrongdoing have been analysed and stored by America's National Security Agency under a secret deal that was approved by British intelligence officials, according to documents from the whistleblower Edward Snowden."

www.theguardian.com/world/2013/nov/20/us-uk-secret-deal-s...

No job? No money? No problem: Greek prime minister, Antonis Samaraspromises free wi-fi.

No job? No money? No problem: Greek prime minister, Antonis Samaras promises free wi-fi., a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

This is a Photoshopped image. Satire and parody.

"Father, you don't listen to a word I say. No, dear. I pay the NSA to do that."

"Father, you don't listen to a word I say. No, dear. I pay the NSA o do that.", a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

Greek PM's latest pie in the sky scheme - free wi-fi for everyone.

Greek PM's latest pie in the sky scheme - free wi-fi for everyone., a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

People make phone calls for all kinds of reasons and to ensure your safety we monitor them all. NSA

People make phone calls for all kinds of reasons and to ensure your safety we monitor them all. NSA, a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

People make phone calls for all kinds of reasons and to ensure your safety we follow them all.

This advertisement was paid for by the National Security Agency - Protecting your freedoms.

George Osbourne's Big, Big Book of Economics. Revised edition with foreword by C. Reinhart and K. Rogoff

George Osbourne's Big, Big Big Book of Economics. Revised edition with foreword by Professors Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff, a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

"Growth in a Time of Debt”, by Professors Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff has been widely criticised for flawed theoretical assumptions and possible mathematical errors in its data. In the light of growing doubts over the paper, UK finance minister, George Osborne has updated the government's "economic Bible".

The ECB report 2009-2012 (now in cartoon form)

The ECB report 2009-1012 (now in cartoon form), a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

G4S is a subsidiary of the FUBAR Group PLC

G4S is a subsidiary of the FUBAR Group PLC, a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

UK citizenship test - the crib notes

In keeping with the demands of the latest government directives all those applying for UK citizenship will have to pass a test designed to see if they are aware of  seminal events in British culture and history. In the spirit of international co-operation I have created a list of crib notes which will help applicants with their examination.

1 -Which countries make up 'Great Britain'? England, Hampshire, Tuscany and The Cotswolds.

2 - Which tribal leader fought against the Roman conquest of Britain? Margaret Thatcher.

3 - Which king defeated the Vikings at the end of the 9th Century? Tony Blair - The Hammer of the Scot.

4 - When did the English first impose English laws on Wales and the Welsh? 1957 (When Welsh forced to fight under an English flag in 1st Eurovision Song Contest.

5 - Which famous document eventually led to the formation of Parliament in England? The Leveson Inquiry
Report.

6 - Under the feudal system, what were people who worked the land called? Stake holders.

7 - What proportion of the population of the UK were killed by the Black Death? Approximately the same as those not in BUPA.

8 - Which kinds of skilled workers did not come to England in large numbers from Europe in the Middle Ages? Polish plumbers. Hence the delay in UK obtaining European levels of personal hygiene till the late 17th century.

9 - Which monarch established the Church of England? Princess Di.

10 - Which monarch was defeated by Oliver Cromwell in English Civil War? Trick question as no English monarch has ever lost.Charles just lost his head for a moment.

 Good luck and the Best of British to you.

EU to appoint southern European "Debt Czar"

EU to appoint southern European "Debt Czar", a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

"Don't be too proud of this fiscal terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy an economy is insignificant next to the potential of the Euro."

Whoops!! There goes the Eurozone

Whoops!! There goes the Eurozone, a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

"Cellar makes a fairly safe shelter where a family can wait out the Eurozone collapse."

All The Prime Minister's Men - Film Poster

All The Prime Minister's Men - Film Poster, a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.

David Cameron is looking more and more like Nixon as the days pass and the flood of damaging revelations about his connections with media mogul Rupert Murdoch continue to surface.

Some of my best friends are common folk.David Cameron keeps it real.

Some of my best friends are common folk.David Cameron keeps it real., a photo by Teacher Dude's BBQ on Flickr.