A few useful holiday tips

For those wishing to live their myth in Greece there is no better way of getting to know the culture better than to take part in local customs and traditions. This allows you an insight into the country that those left swigging lager or Red Bull back at the hotel pool will envy you for.

Luckily, for those who have missed Easter or Mardi Gras there is always a demo nearby for you to take part in. So why not take the plunge and get a little local colour to go with that gorgeous tan of yours.

Here are a few tips to help you get the most out of the experience;

1 - Always carry your passport. If you get stopped by the police it's a good to have it on you. Of course, having one from a nuclear armed nation is best of all as it ensures a suitable level of politeness from all those involved.

No wonder Iranians support their nuclear program so fervently, if for no other reason than to get a little more respect from foreign police forces and waiters.

2 Remember not everyone likes having their picture taken. Police, anarchists and right-wing knuckle draggers are particularly camera shy. They'll quite happily kick the crap out of you in lieu of each other if they mistake you for a reporter.

3 Dress the part. Lots of black and red for those with a problem accepting authority whereas the riot police prefer a more conservative olive green look which is much easier to wash all those stubborn bloodstains out of.

4 Accessorize appropriately. Bags, rucksack and haversacks are definitely this year's demo fashion no no's as they tend to attract the undue attentions of the police. Use a shopping trolley instead.

5 Learn a few phrases of the language. This not only shows politeness to your hosts but can also help avoid needless delays and misunderstandings. Here are some that may come in handy;

Δεν ατνιστεκομαι/ den antiSTEKomai

I'm not resisting

Μη με δειρνεις, ειμαι μπλογγερ, οχι δημοσιογραφος./ Me may DERneis, EImai blogger, ohi demosioGRAFos.

Don't beat me. I'm a blogger not a journalist.

Δεν ειμαι Αμερικανος/Εγγλεζος, ειμαι απο την Ισλανδια.

Dthen EIMai ameriKANOnos/ englLAZos EIMai Apo ten IslandTHIa.

I'm not American/English, I'm from Iceland.

Απο που ειναι το πιο κοντινο νοσοκομειο?

Apo Pou EINai to poi kontiNO nosokoMEIo?

Which way is the nearest hospital?

Follow these simple pieces of advice and you too will have a story to impress friends and neighbours back at home as sit admiring your holiday slides.