In keeping with the demands of the latest government directives all those applying for UK citizenship will have to pass a test designed to see if they are aware of seminal events in British culture and history. In the spirit of international co-operation I have created a list of crib notes which will help applicants with their examination.
1 -Which countries make up 'Great Britain'? England, Hampshire, Tuscany and The Cotswolds.
2 - Which tribal leader fought against the Roman conquest of Britain? Margaret Thatcher.
3 - Which king defeated the Vikings at the end of the 9th Century? Tony Blair - The Hammer of the Scot.
4 - When did the English first impose English laws on Wales and the Welsh? 1957 (When Welsh forced to fight under an English flag in 1st Eurovision Song Contest.
5 - Which famous document eventually led to the formation of Parliament in England? The Leveson Inquiry
6 - Under the feudal system, what were people who worked the land called? Stake holders.
7 - What proportion of the population of the UK were killed by the Black Death? Approximately the same as those not in BUPA.
8 - Which kinds of skilled workers did not come to England in large numbers from Europe in the Middle Ages? Polish plumbers. Hence the delay in UK obtaining European levels of personal hygiene till the late 17th century.
9 - Which monarch established the Church of England? Princess Di.
10 - Which monarch was defeated by Oliver Cromwell in English Civil War? Trick question as no English monarch has ever lost.Charles just lost his head for a moment.
Good luck and the Best of British to you.